Marijuana rule still in force

The Commissioner of Major League Baseball reminded managers in a private memo on Friday that marijuana use is strictly prohibited during game times. 

"Strat-O and marijuana simply do not mix," Commissioner Bill Scanlon said.  "It's been bad.  We've been seeing scorecards with a medley of errors.  For instance, during a series in San Diego, one manager mistakenly played nine innings with one team, before the home team even got to bat.  It's scandalous, it's a disgrace.  We called him and he said he smoked purple haze before the game."

After problems in past years, Major League commissioned a study in the off-season aimed at understanding the effects of drugs during games. 

"What we've seen is that overall cognition, math, and general strategy improve when a manager is drinking," Human Behaviorial Scientist Wilkins Jennings said.  "There's also a higher incidence of adrenaline released during play.  But with marijuana, we've proven that managers cannot handle more than two calculations at once.  How could a manager then properly add a steal rating + a pitcher's holding rating + a catcher's arm?  He couldn't.  So we've told MLB to ban it.  Also, after 7 beers, a manager's judgment is also reduced.  We've seen managers try to run Paul Konerko on Pudge Rodriguez's arm in 2005.  Nonsense."

We asked Manager Maty McNeil what he thought.  "I try not to smoke during games.  I like to smoke after to remember the victory in happiness."